Last night, I stayed up watching a good movie until almost two am but the full moon lured me to go outside to witness the most beautiful moonlight shining through the clouds. Every now and then, the moon would show up whenever the clouds moved away from the moon. It was at its brightest and it was telling me again that everything is going to be fine. I wish I could feel this way everyday. Just to have the burning faith daily without breaking down so easily that I’d cry after the thoughts come into mind that require my answers. Surely I don’t have any but to tell myself that I will be definitely okay and will beat this Melvi’s ass outta my life so she wouldn’t control me and my life. I need to focus not only the details but the details of my faith, survival skills and positive attitude with my loved ones. The less I focus on the details, the less it owns me. Everything will be okay.
Today my mom took the children to the Sonoma-Marin County Fair to have some good thrills on the rides. I would have loved to go but I wouldn’t feel too comfortable exposing myself to too many people when I am going through aggressive chemotherapy. I want to be on the safe side and take care of myself…there is no such a place for me to lay down in case I’d get tired or sit my ass on the toilet for hours. Here I am trying to finish the last two weeks of blog…
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