July 10, 2009

Time to live in the moment. Not the past or future; only the now. ~ Quoted by my dear friend, Maleika.

I am now embarking on a new journey - into the unknown. Not into the darkness, because I will be surrounded by loved ones and many networks of support. To battle a cancer called Mucoid Carcinoma. My mom will post information here on this type of cancer as soon as she can. I was sick for over two months with an ear infection, and a sinus infection. Then with asthma, then lastly, with pneumonia with lumps on my neck and underarm pit. The medications weren't helping me to get better.

The doctors ordered x rays, blood work and CAT scans, which showed lumps in my lungs. It was originally thought that I had Hodgkin's Disease until I had the biopsy, which was last Monday, I had surgery to remove the lump from my underarm pit and sent the tissue to San Francisco Kaiser Cancer Department. It is a cancer officially called Mucoid Carcinoma. Right now, we do not know where it came from yet. From breasts or lungs, or both?

On July 10th, the battle has begun...I began my first round of chemotherapy. It lasted seven hours. I survived a brief moment of sheer terror because it [“It” being the whole situation] finally sank in. But I banished it quickly...I want to stay positive about the whole thing. Yes it is and will be very hard. I slept right through it. I am now a drug addict...loving the needles, better drugs, chemo, appetite stimulants, nausea and constipation relievers, diarrhea relievers, benadryl, very excellent cough syrup, herbs (good and bad ones), who knows what else?? I used to hate taking them, was a former worst pill taker. They are my friends now; to help me get better. I ain't going to worry about the loss(es) I will have in a few weeks. That will be told later when the time comes.

The prayers, support, encouragement, faith, love and positive healing vibes from all of you will be so much appreciated. I know that I will – I MUST beat this. It is not easy for me to post this as it is so freaking new to me and my wonderful children; to my family, friends and new people...not easy at all. I just need a lot of support, encouragement and most of all, laughter - any type. There is one thing or two I despise: Pity and different treatment [ie: Treating me differently now because of my situation or trying to pretend that I am not sick]. On my next blog, I will be more emotionally and mentally equipped to continue to update as much as I can. My new motto is the above quote. "Time to live in the moment, not past or future, only the now”. I will not question it, for I will not get any answer but my own. Accept, face and beat it is my answer.

So I look forward to facing the most challenging battle ever with renewed energy, positive energy, sheer determination, strength, faith and belief. Most of all, it is all of you who will be there in every step of the way with me on my journey. Including my little ones, my mom and my brother. Please do not hesitate to share your thoughts, comments, research, advice, anything including jokes. I love to laugh and it is the best medicine as well.

All of my love,
Lisa